learn to listen as much as you speak



Abortion is one of the most important women’s issues there is. Why? Because when it’s illegal – women die.

I wouldn’t get an abortion. But I wouldn’t stop any other woman from getting one either. And neither should you.

Hello, ladies, gentlemen and everyone else taking a gander through my blog today.

Recently you heard me talk about male victims of domestic violence. And as promised – I am back to talk about the issues that are facing women. 

It didn’t take me long to think of something to write about. 

I mean – are you paying attention to what’s happening in the world right now?

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past few months, let me fill you in on one of the biggest women’s issues to ever stare girls in the eye and threaten their well being.


Yep – I’m finally going to talk about it. Took me some time and it’s going to take a whole lot more courage to be 100% candid about it. 

It’s time though.

You may be wondering why an Aussie girl like me would want to lend their voice to this issue. 

After all – in this beautiful yet flawed country that I love so much, I have the right to choose. 

Well – at least here in Victoria I do.

Not everyone in the world has that choice. Not everyone in Australia has that choice.

Don’t worry South Australia and New South Wales. I see you. And I am writing this for you ladies as well.

Didn’t know some states in Australia still treat abortion as a crime? Well – let me fill you in.

In South Australia – two different doctors must confirm that the mental or physical health of the mother is in danger for the abortion to be provided.

Alternatively, there has to be severe fetal abnormality for the abortion to be legal.

Abortion under any other circumstances is still considered a crime.

In New South Wales – abortion is considered a crime for both women and for doctors.

It is only legal if a woman’s physical or mental health is in danger and this must be confirmed by a doctor.

However it is legal for social, economic and medical factors to be considered in NSW.

  • Northern Territory – legal up to 14 weeks
  • Western Australia – legal up to 20 weeks
  • Victoria – legal up to 24 weeks and legal post 24 weeks with a doctors approval
  • ACT – legal so long as it is administered by a medical professional
  • Queensland – legal up to 22 weeks and post 22 weeks with a doctors approval

If you want to find out more about the reproductive rights of women in Australia this is a really great resource.

I’m going to get back to America though.


America is quite often looked up to as the big brother or sister of Australia. Where they wander…we tend to follow.

13 states in America have taken women’s rights backwards in history and blocked women’s access to legal abortions. 

Now before we get into the nitty gritty – let’s get one thing clear. I did my research on this. Anyone who wants to call me unresearched can take a stroll through this list and shut up.


In the past couple of months 11 different states within America have taken steps to prohibit or block access to abortions.

  • Alabama
  • Arkansas
  • Utah
  • Ohio
  • North Dakota
  • Missouri 
  • Mississippi 
  • Louisiana 
  • Kentucky
  • Indiana
  • Georgia

These states have either passed laws or proposed bills that directly contradict Roe vs Wade.

Roe vs Wade was a decision by the US Supreme Court that gave women the right to privacy regarding abortion. 

However, we must remember Roe vs. Wade tied the right to an abortion to the three trimesters of a woman’s pregnancy. 

Roe vs. Wade allows a woman to legally have an abortion in the first trimester. For those who don’t know – the first trimester is the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. 

In the second trimester, which lasts from week 13 to week 28, the government required for there to be reasonable health issues for the women to acquire an abortion. 

In the third trimester, which lasts from week 28 to week 40, the government can stop a woman from having an abortion completely UNLESS the abortion would save the life or health of the mother. 

You could be forgiven for thinking this was a good middle ground for both the pro choice and pro life arguments. 

Apparently, it was not enough for the pro life movement though as they’ve been pushing to overturn Roe vs. Wade ever since. 

Scarily – it seems like they might be making some leeway.

Some of these states don’t even make exceptions for rape or incest. 

Yes. You read that right. 

The states of Alabama, Louisiana, Georgia, Ohio, Mississippi and Arkansas have passed laws that prohibit abortions with no exceptions for rape or incest. 

Why would people do that? Where is the logic or the rationale for that train of thinking?

The pro life argument would say that even if women are the victim of rape or incest, then the unborn child is still innocent. 

Okay, now, I am going to shut this argument down. Right here, right now. 

A woman who is the victim of rape or incest could be any age. 

Let me say that again.

Any. Mother. Fucking. Age.

So, you need to decide which child you want to protect. 

First – take into consideration the mental health repercussions for a 13 year old girl who is bringing a child of her own into the world.

Take some time to think about the socio-economic repercussions for the mother. 

Do you think a 13 year old girl has the stability to provide for a new born?

Now imagine this.

You’ve grown up your whole life with a sister and a mother.

And then one day your family sits you down to tell you that your sister is your mother and your mother is your grandmother.

You can’t tell me that child is just going to smile and be like, “Oh, cool. Can I have a  snack now?”  

Now, think about the physical health repercussions for both mother and child.

Want to protect children? Then don’t force 13, 14, 15 year old girls to carry unwanted pregnancies to full term.

I am all about protecting children. It’s where I draw the line for kindness. 

If you hurt, corrupt of abuse a child – don’t expect a damn thing from me. 

People who hurt children are scum. 

When you force a child to carry a baby to full term pregnancy – you are hurting that child. 

A fourteen year old girl won’t even know that she’s pregnant. 

She certainly isn’t likely to come forward and admit she’s been a victim of rape or incest.

She probably doesn’t even know what rape or incest is!

It doesn’t matter how many weeks along she is.

She should not be forced to give birth to that baby. No fucking way. 

For God’s sake – you want to protect children? THEN WHY DON’T YOU DO THAT?

I know that everyone out there who is a pro life supporter is currently losing their minds over my hypocrisy. 

I want to protect children but I don’t support an abortion ban. You think that is hypocritical and wrong.

Well, let me tell you a little secret I don’t talk about a lot. 

If I fell pregnant tomorrow – I would not have an abortion. Because I believe that the life growing inside me is more important than myself.

I can bet that after reading that both pro lifers and pro choicers had a very similar reaction.

Your mental train of thought hit a big old wall and now all you can think is – “What the fuck?”

I know what you’re thinking. 


Well, before you get too excited about telling me what I can and can’t be – why don’t you sit the hell down and listen to me for a sec?

The truth is that if I were making a decision about my own pregnancy, I would choose to keep the child. 

Were it a case of rape or an extremely sick baby – my decision might change. I don’t know. I’d have to live through that experience to tell you what I would decide. 

Here’s to hoping that never happens. 

However, in the case of a healthy pregnancy that was the result of consensual sex – yes, I would keep it. 

My personal choices do not make me pro life though. 

In fact – I’m definitely pro choice.

How is that possible? 

Well I live by this funny moral code where I don’t make other people’s decisions for them.

And I certainly don’t force vulnerable women into an even more vulnerable situation.

I don’t know her circumstances. I don’t know what she’s been through. I don’t know what her reasons are for wanting to have an abortion. 

And you know what? I don’t have to. 

If a woman decides that she needs to have an abortion – y’all better get out of her way because legal or illegal, she’s going to get it. 

See, that’s the other big reason I could never side with a pro life movement.

While I personally agree that a life is a life from the moment it begins to grow, I will not give credence to the idea that it’s in any way smart to ban abortion. 

Why not?

Because women will have them anyway. 

Women have been having abortions for as long as women have existed. 

We will decide what to do with our bodies and you can not control that. 

Go on. 

Try all you want. 

Puff out your chest. 

Huff and puff and attempt blow all our rights away. 

You will fail. 

Women will have abortions in secret no matter what you do. 

Don’t believe me? Think women will just fall in line and bring all their pregnancies to full term? Guess again.

Our ancestors lived through the women’s liberation movement for us. Now that we’re here – we aren’t going back.  

THIS is what a country where abortion is illegal really looks like.

And this is where I begin to get scared. 

Not for myself, as I said…my personal moral opinions and the beautiful state that I live in mean I am not in danger from these laws. 

Not just yet anyway.

I get scared for every other woman on the planet. 

You can not create a society, a world, where vulnerable people have to go and deal with a vulnerable situation…

in the dark


where they can be taken advantage of

Because that’s what will happen. 

How do I know that’s what will happen? Because it’s exactly what happened before. 

Women were forced to have abortions in secret. 

Away from the protection of the law. 

Away from the protection of licenced medical professionals. 

Away from the protection of society itself. 

And the things women went through as a result – were shocking. I want to say unspeakable but of course…I don’t believe in keeping quiet about things that are painful or scary. 

If we don’t talk about it then people who haven’t experienced bad shit won’t understand the full gravity of bad situations. 

That’s why everyone needs to know what is was like before. The proof is out there –  quite literally everywhere.

Illegal abortions only has negative results. 

Dangerous, self administered abortions with a coat hanger. 

Butchers with a rusty knife in a dank hotel room. 

Cocktails full of poisonous substances. 

Criminal doctors who sexually abuse women after they perform the abortion. 

And where do these women go? Once they realise their situation has only gotten more precarious – where do they go for help?


They curl up in a corner and pray. Pray that the abortion worked and that they don’t die. 

Maybe they go to the emergency room, but they don’t tell their doctor what really happened. 

How could they? It’s illegal. In the eyes of the law – they’re a criminal. 

And so – they can’t get the help they desperately need because they can’t give their doctors the information that could save their lives. 

Criminalising abortion won’t save lives. It will result in the deaths of an unimaginable number of women. And that’s just a fact. 

So, what should we do then? 

If pro lifers really want to prevent abortions from occurring – what should they do?

We’ve established that changing abortion laws will not help. Then what will?


Believe it or not – there are steps pro-lifers could take to minimise abortions without restricting women’s access to healthcare.

If you want to stop women from having abortions – you might as well give up the dream right now. 

Legal or illegal – women will have abortions. 

Prohibition didn’t last. 

In fact, it only resulted in people drinking lethal moonshine that had been concocted in some guys bathtub.

Now – I know you think that isn’t a fair comparison.

Alcohol and abortions.

And you’re right. Abortions is a significantly more serious issue than alcohol.

Alcohol is a lifestyle choice and abortion – well, that’s healthcare.

Eventually the government realised they couldn’t stop people from drinking.

So –  why don’t I (and everyone else who knows exactly what kind of world we’ll live in if we introduce laws like this) save you a bit of time.

Criminalising abortion isn’t going to work.

You know what might though?

Eliminating the reasons women want to have abortions in the first place.

How about instead of forcing little girls to give birth to a baby that is the result of rape or incest – why don’t we enforce harsher punishments for the rapist?

Wouldn’t it be nice if we stopped hearing of cases where men weren’t charged for the crime of rape because going to jail would have a severe impact on them?

Wouldn’t it be nice if we stopped hearing of cases where women were raped and murdered by a man who was out on bail for the crime of rape?

How about instead of judging a mother from a lower socio-economic background – why don’t we fix the job deficit facing people in both America and Australia at the moment.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where women could fall pregnant and not have to worry about whether they could support the baby financially?

How about we make a bigger effort to introduce sex education into our schools and workplaces?

I know people seem to think we’re already doing that but trust me – it’s not enough.

I know women who didn’t realise that they had three holes. Yes. You bloody heard right.

A ridiculous number of women I know aren’t a hundred percent sure how the pill works.

I met girls who think guys have 100% control over when they do and do not get hard.

I’ve never met a guy who actually knows about women’s periods and ovulation unless I tell him about it. 

Why is that?

Well – I don’t know. If I were making a guess I would say it had something to do with the fact that when I was in school –  they used to talk far too much about dildos and bananas and not enough about actual sex and reproduction.

How about instead of turning on young women who get pregnant outside marriage – why don’t we fight back against the societal view that there is anything wrong with that.

Heads up mofos – if you’re pro having sex outside of marriage (and it’s 2019 –  you bloody well should be) then you’re going to have to accept that the result will be an increase in young, unmarried mothers.

And honestly – who gives a flipping tit?

The thing that really gets my tits in a tizzy is that I have witnessed a lot people who are anti-abortion treat young mothers with scorn or ridicule.

Hellooooo! Are you paying attention? You can’t have it both ways!

The thing about abortion is that it just another symptom of the larger problems in our society.

If we tackled unemployment, rape and incest, the lack of accurate knowledge about sex and the societal view that its not okay to have a baby when you’re young – then maybe the rate of abortions would decrease.

But no. You don’t want to do that.

Maybe it seems like too much work for you.

Maybe you just enjoy having something to rant and rave about. I can’t blame you –  I do too. Clearly.

Perhaps though…we could change the direction of the conversation and start ranting and raving about the reason’s women feel the need to have abortions and not abortion itself.


We need to keep this conversation alive. We need to keep bringing people’s attention back to it. If we don’t – the powerful people changing these laws will keep changing them.

So – don’t do it for me – do it for women.

Share this article. Leave me a comment on social media. Or better yet – start your own conversation.

Start talking about this to your friends and family. Make your own post on social media. Attend peaceful protests.

Lend your voice to this cause and breathe life into it every chance that you get.

When corruption happens – it is the duty of the privileged to stand up and take action.

As always – be kind, my loves.



  1. Thanks for this wonderful message and call to stand! I have my tits in twist about the inconsistencies and double standards for women!!

    1. Hi Cynthia!

      It’s my pleasure and my passion to be bring light to this subject and I’m glad I’m not the only one with my tits in a twist!

      Let’s make sure we keep talking about this! This issue is not allowed to swept under the rug.

      Be kind, my love.

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